I’m just going to go ahead and jump into this subject…hope you don’t mine 🙂
Here’s the scoop: Mean Girls are real, not just the name of a movie and they are the worst.
I decided to write this blog post up because lately…I’ve witnessed some Mean Girl status things happen at my kids’ school. And I’m just not okay with it.
From what I’ve experienced, there a few types of mean girls:
- Girls who are mad you for things that are out of your control.
- Girls who are mad at you for things in your control.
- Girls who just don’t speak your crazy.
- Jealous haters.
- …and those girls that hate you and have a reason for it.
These are the types I have witness at the school. Now, of course…when you get into adulthood there are MANY more mean girls. But those will be saved for a later date.
This is the advice I gave my 11 year old when it came to mean girls at school.
1. Girls who are mad at you for things that are out of you control.
Sometimes in life, good things will happen to you, like winning a lifetime supply of Chipotle burritos. And sometimes, when those said good things happen, people might automatically start hating you because now you don’t have to drive to Chipotle and wait in line for their fantastic burritos anymore.
Thing is, you were born with fabulous genes and that occasionally will put a big ol’ kick me sign on your back. Girls feel threatened by fabulousness. Take a tip from Lady Gaga, Baby you were born this way and it’s not your fault.
You will come across people in your life and be uber jealous of what they have. But please, don’t hate them for the things they have that you don’t have. We all live different lives and we are all at different areas in our lives. Count your many blessings and be thankful that you have them to count.
How do you deal with them? Be kind. Chances are, they are super insecure and just need a friend.
2. Girls who are made at you for things in your control.
Basically…these girls are the same as above ^^^ only difference is….they hate you for the things you chose to do. Like going over to Stacy’s house instead of going to Bree’s like you do every Wednesday. Trust me, it happens. It’s okay to have many friends you spend time with. Of course you will have your fave’s but you can hangout with whoever you want and if Bree get’s mad that you went to Stacy’s well, then that’s Bree’s problem. Don’t let her make you feel bad because you wanted to hangout with someone else.
How do you deal with these mean girls? Be kind to them. Chances are, they are also super insecure and may feel like they are losing you as a friend.
3. Girls who don’t speak your crazy.
There really was some girl that straight up told another girl that she was just too weird for her to hangout with. I giggled when I heard that.
Here’s the deal, we connect with some people and we don’t with others. It’s life. But sometimes, if a girl doesn’t connect with us right off the bat, we assume she’s sticking her nose in the air and doesn’t like us. It happens. But our initial impression of someone, isn’t always right. Sometimes, she just doesn’t understand you or smell what you are stepping in. And that’s totally okay. Don’t ever try to win someone’s approval though. You will lose yourself in the process. A lot of times, these girls aren’t even mean…you just aren’t on their level of crazy, or she’s not on yours. How ever you wanna look at. Don’t frazzle yourself over her opinion. Just move on.
4. Jealous haters.
My personal faves.
They are what I like to call frenemies. Sometimes…these buggers sneak up on you out of nowhere!
These are the worst types. Seriously. They talk behind your back but smile to your face. These are the types that will talk you up when you are around, but beat you down when you’re not there.
What I always say is…if you have haters, it means you are doing something right.
But how do you deal with these crazies? Kill them with kindness of course. It’ll drive them crazy! Crazier than they already are. There’s this saying that says “keep your friends close, but your enemies closer”. When you give into these types of mean girls, let them know that you are onto their games, it gives them satisfaction. You continue to play along and be super nice to them, they just might end up self destruction because they are losing the game.
We are all different. We all have different strengths and different weakness. Sometimes, someone will come along and become overly jealous of your strengths because they wish the possessed them too. Jealously can turn the nicest person, into the ugliest beast.
Don’t envy anyone. The only person it ends up hurting, is you. Support your friends and acquaintances, but don’t ever wish for what they have. Be true to you. And you’ll be amazing too!
5. Girls who hate you and have a reason for it.
…like your friend told you in secret that she really liked this boy and she found out that you have a crush on him too and now she’s totally mad at you for liking the same boy as her.
…or maybe your crazy jealous of one of your besties and she over heard your talking smack behind her back about something and now her feelings are super hurt and doesn’t want to talk to you.
…or maybe life gets in the way of you and your bestie and you naturally grow apart and she’s super offended that you don’t talk to her anymore.
…or maybe in the far future you fall in love with this guy who asks you to marry him and then you find out he’s your cousin’s ex-boyfriend that she’s still head over heels for.
There’s not much you can do in these situations. Sometimes the best and only thing you can do is to just apologize. Whether you feel you weren’t in the wrong or not. You hurt your friends feelings. And you’ll feel much better after apologizing. Be warned that it may take time for them to forgive you, but if they are truly your friend…with time they will forgive you.
The moral of this story…be nice to everyone. You don’t have to be their friend, but being nice is the nice thing to do. And it makes you a better person when you are.