Some of you may or may not know that I was in a very toxic relationship for a really, really long time. Like 6 years long time. And during that time…I lost myself. I was trying to be what he wanted…stupid, I know! At some point I threw up my hands up and said “fuck this, I’m done!” and had just shut down and pushed everyone away. My heart turned to ice and I just didn’t care anymore. The only thing that mattered to me was my son. My life. My world. My rock.
For almost 3 years after Wes was born, I worked super hard to get back on my feet. I was a single mom with a baby. And when I found out I was pregnant, I was living at home and had a part time job. After my son was 3 months, I went back to work. I started at Target as a seasonal employee, making enough to get a 1 bedroom apartment for my son and I. Once the holidays were over, I went out and found a job at a dry cleaners. I didn’t have a car at the time and when I got the call to come in for an interview, I had no one to come pick me and my son up. I told the lady I spoke to that I wouldn’t be able to come in till later due to not having a ride and had my son with me. She told me to just bring him with me! Say what!? So I dug around my apartment until I had enough money for a bus pass for the day. Walked to the bus stop with Wes in his stroller and rode down there and landed the job! That sweet boy was probably the reason for it 😉
I eventually saved up some money for a car…only $1500 but it was a start. My ex’s parents were gracious enough to actually buy me a car…because lets face it…$1500 wasn’t going to get me a super reliable car and I had an infant and if that thing broke down in the summer…it would not be good. I was very grateful for what they did for me, even though their son treated me like crap. Once I had that car, I was free to go where I pleased.
I found my freedom again.
I was lucky enough to have a babysitter, that would come get me and take me to work and I would just pay her gas. Eventually, she had to go out and get a job to support her and her son, and Wes had to go to daycare. Worst day of my life!
But I had found such an amazing daycare within a school district that it made it super easy after a couple weeks. Though he would still cry every time I left him, he had stolen the heart of one of the office ladies, and that was his buddy. She would come in when I would leave, so it was easier on him (and me). Eventually, I made friends with his teachers and the ladies in the office and was offered a job at another location.
I took it!
I worked there for about two years, until they raised my rent and his tuition and I made the decision to move home. I had been trying for months to figure out a way to break it off with my ex and move home. He was a nut case and I knew if I broke it off with him, he would be showing up at my apartment at all hours of the night. I decided that wasn’t such a good idea. Finally, it was like a sign from above when everything was raised.
Called my parents and they welcomed me with open arms.
Not a month after I moved home, I went to a BBQ at a friends. I didn’t realize how drastically my life was going to change when I walked in that front door. I laid eyes on him and my heart started to pound and I started to feel butterflies for the first time in years when his eyes met mine. He immediately came over and introduced himself to me and my ex and we talked the entire time we were there. He always made sure to sit near me so he could talk to me. All it took was for him to keep a conversation going with me, and I was already falling for him. Thing is, when I fall, I fall fast and hard.
A week later, my friend called me up and invited me out to the lake for Cinco de Mayo. And of course I went! Cuz who passes up an invite to the lake? My ex, that’s who.
And to my surprise, who did I find there at the lake…my friends older brother. The one who had already stolen my heart without me knowing it. That day at the lake is one of my favorite memories. Though nothing happened between us, he made me feel like I had never felt before. He made me smile. He made me laugh. And when his hand touched mine to help me out of the boat (cuz he’s a gentleman) it sent a shock right through me and gave me butterflies, and sent my heart racing. Even now, just writing this, I can feel those butterflies 🙂
He was everything I ever wanted. All I ever needed. He was sweet and funny and I knew just what I was getting into with him.
I had decided to spend the night, and sleep in my car since it was a holiday weekend and I had already seen a ton of sheriffs up there. My friend had already told me if I had chosen to stay when I first got there, that I could sleep in his brothers RV. When I mentioned to Bryce that I was going to sleep in my car, he offered his RV to me as well. He made a bed for me and he got in his bed, and we just talked till we fell asleep. The next morning, I tried to sneak out of there but of course, the darn door was crazy loud lol I was secretly hoping he would wake up and come out to say goodbye and to my surprise, he did. He gave me a hug, and I could tell that this, this is what I wanted from here on out. I didn’t want to let him go and I could tell he didn’t want to let go of me either.
Here’s the thing about me…when I want something, I go get it.
I broke it off with my ex, (btw, he showed up at my work a couple times after that), texted my friend and asked for his brothers number so I could thank him for letting me crash in his RV since I had forgotten to tell him when I left. Now…yes, I did want to thank him, but I also wanted HIM.
I’m sneaky, I know 😉
I sent him that text…thanking him for me letting crash in his RV and the rest is history.
It was love at first sight.
Meant for each other.
He was always so close, yet so far away.
He was the one that stole my liquor out of his brothers truck when I was in high school.
He was the one at that one party.
He was that asshole that I had fun shit talking to at Supercross just 3 months before he stole my heart at his brothers apartment.
Every broken road we took in our past, was always leading us straight to each other.
And I thank God everyday for it.
Because without him…I would’ve never learned to love again.